97 Degrees and Rising

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As Nelly shouted to the world in 2002, it’s hot in herre. Really hot. Washington DC is currently experiencing a record-breaking heatwave that has me thankful for our pool membership while also giving my flashbacks on our brief time in Texas. The infamous capital-area-swamp humidity isn’t helping. My coarse thick hair is weeping for SoCal and my body is wondering why my husband chose to pursue a land-locked career in the Army rather than along the coastline in the Navy. That being said, I really do love living here. But I’d like it even better if were in a cute little bungalow within walking distance of a major body of water.

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Clay was home for the majority of the weekend, which meant we attempted to squeeze in as much family time as we possible could. Which is how we ended up kayaking at noon in 99 degree weather – looking back, not our brightest idea. The kids managed to keep the complaining to a minimum and they powered through but we waved the white flag around the two hour mark.

In effort to keep this space from flatlining, I am really trying to write more. Not that I think anyone is chomping at the bit to devour my words but it’s nice to a place that I get to completely cultivate as my own. I may not be the next voice of my generation but I sometimes say things that make my friends and family laugh and the people who live with me seem to think I’m the cat’s pajamas. That has to be worth something, right?

I’ve noticed an uptick in readers as of late. Either Russia is really refocusing their efforts or some of the words I’ve written over the past few months have resonated with various members of the world population. Although, I do hope it is not those who aren’t actively seeking to destroy our well-being. So it seems like as good of a time as any to answer a few questions that may help you get to know me a little better.

Zodiac sign? I am a Pisces. I don’t really care though because I haven’t checked my horoscope since middle school. And even then I only did it because I was desperate for friends and it felt like every.single.girl in our school was obsessed. Back then, my tragically fragile self-esteem would take it personally that the horoscope for Pisces was always located at the bottom of the newspaper section. As if it were an after thought – if only I were a Cancer or a Sagittarius or a Leo. Is it possible to feel rejected by a newspaper horoscope section? Because I’m pretty sure I was continuously rejected by mine during my middle school years.

Three annoying things. (1) Slow talkers. Unnecessary pauses are positively grating and life is way too short to extend words beyond their required syllables. (2) Lack of turn signal. I’ve spent way too many minutes fantasizing about enrolling in the Police Academy, working hard, making close friends, and graduating with honors – only for the privilege of pulling over drivers who refuse to use their damn turn signal. Book em’, Danno! (3)

An embarrassing moment. I have had a lot of embarrassing moments over the years. Without elaborating (perhaps a future post?), some of them include: falling down a staircase in my wedding gown during our reception in front of everybody on the dance floor, inadvertently asking my 9th grade math teacher how big his “thingy” was in front of the class, raising my hand during English 101 as a college freshman and asking the professor to describe phallic because I wasn’t familiar with the word, and a very unfortunate incident involving unpasteurized cheese.

Five dishes you wouldn’t want to live without? (1) Double-blanched French fries. (2) Beef tenderloin/filet mignon. (3) Maryland blue crab. (4) Fresh shrimp. (5) Pho.

Well – this seems as good of a place as any to close the post. I thoroughly enjoyed writing it. However, it remains to be seen if anyone enjoys reading it. For those who have made it thus far – thanks. And for those who bailed at an earlier paragraph – you missed out on learning that I am able to sing “Little Black Backpack” by Stroke 9 without needing to look at the karaoke screen.

4 comments on “97 Degrees and Rising”

  1. Still laughing from the English 101 question…too funny! Great kayaking pics 🙂 We started getting ours out a few weeks ago and have been trying to beat the heat (it gets hot out there on the lake!).

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  2. You are truly funny and candid. I love your writing style and definitely chuckled a few times. Keep up the great work and thank you for the entertainment and stories in this post.

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  3. Glad you’ve had an uptick in readership! I always enjoy your unique sense of humor. This is an enjoyable light-hearted place for me to land when I sit down to blog-read. 🙂

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