a few seven days but I’ve finally written my first post of 2019. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of sadness, travel, and sickness so it’s been difficult to process my thoughts about the fresh start that every new year affords us. But in my fog, I did manage to research various new year traditions from around the world (my favorites being Hogmanny in Scotland, smashing plates in Denmark, and Junkanoo in the Bahamas).
It’s impossible for me to look forward without reflecting on 2018. Truth be told – it wasn’t my favorite year. There were a lot of highlights (like our trips to London, Paris, and Amelia Island), we were relatively healthy (only one broken bone!), I turned 35, I coached T-ball, I became a Girl Scout leader, we hiked and kayaked many miles, and I even participated in my first adventure race. But it was also filled with a fair amount of not so great moments. I wrote about walking on broken glass, dealing with disappointment, and the death of our dog. I attempted a few things professionally that fizzled and I emerged from 2018 not really knowing what I want in the professional arena. I ended the year at my heaviest non-pregnant adult weight and with the worst skin of my adult life. So there’s that.
But I’m committed to looking forward and really leaning into what 2019 has to offer. I love the idea of summing up my hopes, dreams, and goals for 2019 in one word. So while waiting for a meeting to begin the other day, I brainstormed a list of things I’d like to accomplish this year…
- write daily
- create a functional bullet journal
- drink 80 ounces of water/week
- explore math certification options
- create and use capsule wardrobe
- meal plan
- produce less food waste
- reduce mindless surfing on phone
- become more diligent about skin care
- be unapologetic about how I spend my time
- run/walk at least 14 miles/week
- 100 squats/day
- be more patient with the kids
- write the children’s book that is floating around in my head
- tap back into creative endeavors (painting, drawing, sewing)
It was at this point, I started to feel a bit basic due to the nature of my list thus far. While I may not be saying trite things like, “New year, new me!“, my list does seem to lack action items that will promote true personal growth. And yes, I am vain enough to admit that I’d like to be a bit more in shape and have clearer skin but I am also craving a more meaningful connection to the world and have a desire to be a better version of me (ugh – that’s quite the annoying trite phrase, isn’t it?). For what it is worth, I promise not to write the words self-care or make time for me in this space.
So in effort to better understand and flesh out my so-called goals, I attempted to organize them into categories, which proved to be a more difficult task that I originally thought. However, I was able to come up with three categories:
That helped a bit but I still struggled coming up with a word to sum up my aspirations for 2019. So then I asked myself the following question: By the end of 2019, I hope to __________________. Doing so helped me visualize exactly what I want to accomplish by December 31, 2019 but it didn’t necessarily help me pinpoint that elusive one word to sum up my hopes, dreams, and wishes for 2019.
So here I am – not exactly sure of what I want out of 2019. Maybe that’s because 2019 will be the year that I fully embrace the unknown and allow myself to be open to possibilities that I’m not even tracking yet. Or perhaps 2019 will be the year that I don’t talk myself out of doing something that scares me. So as of right now, 2019 is the Year of __________. And you know what? I’m actually quite excited to learn what exactly will fill that blank space.