I’ve worn nothing but activewear for the past nine days. By that measure alone, I am living my best life. The uncertainty hangs heavy but I’m determined to find the silver linings of this period that history has yet to label. I am managing okay – the kids are learning, my position has translated nicely to telework, and I’m finding solace in controlling what I can. Going about my days in yoga leggings has certainly contributed to my positive attitude.
I’ve thought a lot of this blog this past week – mainly when working on the 1000 piece puzzle I foolishly brought into the home. I have come to accept that I am not a good blogger – at least as defined by so-called experts. My personal style is far from boho-chic and my photos lack filters that make it appear we reside in a 3000 square foot Air Stream camper with muted outdoor furniture. I put absolutely no effort into SEO and I have no hustle when it comes to promoting myself. My blog doesn’t have a focus beyond “Um…this is my life..I guess?” and a lot of what I write about is probably of little interest to the general population. So I have to ask myself whether or not I’ve outgrown this space.
That’s the nice way of putting it. To be honest, I’ve associated my various blogs throughout the years as evidence of my inability to climb to the next platform. Which is funny because money nor notoriety were never my reasons for maintaining such spaces. And the times when I attempted to monetize specific posts, I was left feeling disingenuous and slimy. Reconciling my desire to turn observation writing into a sustainable source of income combined with low self-esteem and an overflowing bucket of self-doubt has led me to half-ass this area of my life and banish it to a hobby.
I’ve been in the world of content development and instructional design long enough to know that I have passion for creating content that provides both a meaningful connection and the opportunity to learn something new. In this era of curated content, sponsorships, and affiliations, it’s getting increasingly difficult to find authentic voices writing online – especially in the military spouse community. Posts about surviving a PCS with tips such as, “organize personal records in a binder and hand carry” are of no interest to me…we’ve been doing this for over 15 years now – I’ve got it down to a science. I don’t want to read how-to guides about sending care packages overseas or scroll through a gift guide specific for military members (what?!?).
Where are the late thirties/early forties women? You know – the ones with children who are becoming more independent and loving spouses with thriving military careers. The ones who are left looking in the mirror wondering what happened to the spirited twenty-year-old woman who was going to take on the world. The ones who have no idea what the hell is going on with their hormones – “Why am I so angry? WHY is my nose getting bigger?” And the ones who have an incredible amount to give to a society that seems to be increasingly set on dismissing her worthiness.
So please be patient with me as I take full advantage of social distancing and turn And Then We Laughed into the space that I’ve been wanting it to be for quite some time. It’s about damn time.